Friday, December 19, 2008

Couldn't See It Coming

After an absurdly overwhelming November, you may remember I said of December (in this post):

While I know I can't see what this month may hold, I'm determined to make it as amazing as I can...

That sentence sure makes it seem I have a knack for foreshadowing my own life...

When I got the publisher rejection at the beginning of this month, I considered it a minor snafu. I wasn't going to let it shape my month and, really, I was all for putting it behind me and moving on with the next phase. I got a good start on my new WIP, brainstormed on short pieces, and had an all-around satisfied feeling about where I was headed.

But then came more emotional upset.

While I choose not to go into a lot of detail, something happened that made me question my life's happiness. It became clear I had some soul-searching to do, and I wasn't sure what kind of outcome - or huge change, even - might be warranted. My insides were raw with worry, my head was spinning with possibilities, and I feared the unknown.

The crossroads at which I found myself eventually opened onto a foggy path, and I set out with trepidation. But one who appears to have my interests at heart has joined me, making effort to illuminate the way and make the path light.

There are still questions in my mind, but... I'm in a better place now.

What seems too contrived and overdramatic for even me to believe, is that my new WIP focuses on a woman whose 3oth birthday is surrounded by heartbreak and discouragement. I'd gotten the idea after my own 30th (at the beginning of November), when I'd been dealing with all those things myself. What a great idea, I thought. A story of soul searching, finding the good in the bad.

I don't know if it's a case of life creating art (how many times have I posted about experiences and their effect on writing?), or art prefacing life. Either way, it's drawn too parallel for me not to take notice.

It's a lesson for me, I'm certain. What's happened to me was not of my own fault, but yet I've gained from it. And stand to gain more. My hope is that as I trod along this path, picking my way, that I buffer the bad with the good... and use it to my advantage with concern to my writing.

17 comments:

Josh said...

i can't wait to read it :)

WendyCinNYC said...

I'm glad to hear you are in a better place. Whatever your troubles may be, I think that writing about it, even if only for yourself, is a positive step to take.

Ang said...

Oh Janna. I am glad to hear you are in a better place. Keep writing out your thoughts whether they be worries or joys and all will work out. You are in my thoughts as well and I am wishing the best for you in 2009.

Happy Holidays!

Melanie Avila said...

That is strange how your life has mirrored your writing. I'm so glad you're in a better place now, and I hope you can use those darker moments in your story.

celestialwolf said...

Exploring what's inside is always a daunting task but writing helps. It's good to hear that you're doing better. Keep your head up :)

Melissa Marsh said...

I'm sure our situations are different, but I had the same instance where I asked myself if I was really happy. The resounding answer was NO. So I took steps to make that change and I am in a much better place. I'm glad you are, too!

Jessica said...

It sounds like you've learned stuff. :-) I'm glad things are working out for you and I totally hear you on the pub. rejection. We just have to move on and keep writing. Go You!

Joanne said...

Nice that your life ties in with your wip. Sometimes the most moving stories come from the heart like that. I'm glad you're writing, and moving forward.

Angie Ledbetter said...

Keep on the good path and the high road, girlie. You and your work will be all the more sterling for it!

Janet said...

Glad to hear you're doing better.

Ana said...

It is great that you can see and know your consciousness mirroring your life in perspective and writing. These many artistic tools are our entries into our soul. It is great when we express ourselfs through these tools, and we can be aware of our own progress. I wish you peace and love among your journey. You always have my support. xx

spyscribbler said...

Oh, that's great, Janna. I hope things keep getting more and more fabulous for you, I really do.

You are so strong!

MichaƩle said...

*sigh* to be 30 again!

Janna Qualman said...

Josh - I'll let you know when it's finished. ;)

Wendy - Thinking positive!

Ang - Thanks. And to you, too!

Melanie - I know! And I wish it weren't so; at least, to the level it has.

Cel - "Daunting." It's a good word.

Melissa - I actually wonder if maybe we've done through something a little similar. HUGS.

Jessica - Welcome! Thanks for stopping by. :D

Joanne - I certainly see the benefit (even if the nitty gritty details are different), but at least I can dredge up apt feelings when the writing calls for it.

Angie - I should like to thing of my writing as "sterling." :D Thanks!

Janet - Thanks! Hope you're having fun in PA.

Ana - You're so sweet. Thank you so much!

Spy - I've never felt strong but, you know? Maybe I am? Thanks. :)

MichaƩle - 'Tis not all it's cracked up to be. LOL (Really, I like the idea of it. And the number's not too bad, either.)

Terri Tiffany said...

So this means things are better? I hope so! BUt all our experiences do play out in our writing I think.
Have a blessed Merry Christmas!

Janna Qualman said...

Thank you, Terri. I do think things are working out for the best. Hugs!

kimmirich said...

hugs and best to you, Janna!