Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Keep It Real Tuesday

Dark Driving

It was getting to be evening. Eight-thirty or nine or so, I don't much remember, because time wasn't on my mind.

What I do remember is that I was nestled in dark, driving on a two-lane country highway. It was a straight stretch, nothing curvy or hilly or difficult to navigate. No cars around.

Which was why I followed the impulse and took my glasses off.

The road blurred; I could see only that it was illuminated by my headlights.

First there was discomfort. This isn't what good, safe drivers do. This doesn't keep me aware, ready for one of those populous deer, or some other animal, or a parked and watching police officer who catches me crossing over the center line.

I couldn't even see the numbers on the speedometer, my vision is that bad.

But then came liberation. Liberation. I felt it from my hands, as they held the wheel, to my feet, near the pedals.

Because I knew where I was going. And I trusted myself, and I trusted what is bigger than me. I trusted the moment. It came to me that nothing bad was going to happen.

Actually, something good happened.

I gave up control.

And that gave me a great peace, just driving in the dark.

17 comments:

Terri Tiffany said...

Wow-- you are braver than me but I see what you were doing:) I have to hang onto control and I know that when I do, it weighs me down--I want to just go with it while I am in my new area but it is hard!

Slamdunk said...

Excellent Janna. Confidence is a major part of achieving. I am still working on it.

Rhonda Schrock said...

I hear you on the whole control thing - with both ears.

Oy vey, that's hard for me. Thankfully, I do know where to go and Who to trust, that One who's actually big enough to handle everything.

April said...

You are braver than I am as well. Control is one of my issues...not in the wife-controlling-nagging way but in the...well, I won't get into it here. LOL. But I plan everything, or try to plan everything, down to the very last drop. I like to know what my meals will be at the beginning of the day, I plan what I'll wear the night before, and I outline my schedule from getting up in the morning to my workout in the evening to whether I'll read or write before I go to sleep. Letting go sounds more scary than libertaing to me! But that sounds like just what you needed! Congratulations!

Linda Myers said...

Wow. If I'd taken my glasses off while driving at night (which I don't do too much any more since my night vision is terrible even WITH my glasses on), I'd have soared off the road and flown a few yards and landed someplace.

Ryan King said...

That's the trick isn't it? Letting go when we don't want to.

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference."

term paper said...

cool post! as always though

Andrea (Andee) Beltran said...

Love this, Janna. Face each moment fearlessly. Thank you.

Jill Kemerer said...

Love this, Janna. My vision is getting blurrier, and I understand that feeling of trust even without the power of strong glasses.

Jennifer Shirk said...

Wow. I can almost feel what you felt.
Giving up control of anything is pretty liberating. :-)

Jessica Nelson said...

Eeek! I'm glad you lived to tell about it. LOL Good for you though in trusting yourself, having confidence in your instincts.

graceunderpressure said...

Thankfully, no one is telling your daughters the next morning that unfortunately you didn't make it, even though they tried to cut you from your car...
Sorry, I don't agree that reducing your vision while driving a 2000 pound vehicle in the dark is a good plan. Because the devil prowls around as a roaring lion seeking whom he may devour, and his aim is to lie kill and destroy. You wanna give up control? go through a corn maze blindfolded. As my 1st aid instructor said: what's the last thing a young man says before dying? 'hold my beer and watch this'

Lisa M. said...

I love this Janna! You're so right; it's when we finally give up trying to control life, that we give our dreams the room that they need to blossom. It's so scary at first, but letting Him "take the wheel and drive" is exactly what brings the peace and joy we crave.

Karen said...

Jana, I'm too chicken to try that. But great analogy. Blessings***

Janna Qualman said...

I'm learning that confidence and courage are large, necessary parts of life.

Thanks, all.

graceunderpressure, I understand where you're coming from. :)

Kara said...

That is awesome,to give up that control is not easy. I still struggle with this is certain areas of my life.

graceunderpressure said...

@Janna- thanks, I was worried you'd think I was just flaming. *loves you*
It's my Mommy Voice coming out loud and clear, eh?