tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11788482565516143202024-03-12T22:05:33.558-05:00Something She Wrotea transformed woman finds the writer she used to beJanna Leadbetterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06339705935553160673noreply@blogger.comBlogger634125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1178848256551614320.post-22403955206126799422020-11-22T08:38:00.004-06:002020-11-22T08:43:56.911-06:00Pandemic 2020: If We Have to Say "We Told You So"Do you know what it's like to lose a loved one?I do.My dad is gone.None of my grandparents are living.Six of my unclesand two of my aunts have died.And those are just the people I'm related to. I've been to countless other funerals. Too many for my still-young age. I feel big and deep over most things, but especially loss of life. I cry at funerals, sometimes I ugly sob, and sometimes I snot all Janna Leadbetterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06339705935553160673noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1178848256551614320.post-83889833709551576242020-04-24T15:36:00.000-05:002020-04-24T15:37:36.331-05:00The Reason: A Narcissist's Narrative
If you’ve ever been in a relationship with a narcissist, you know what it’s like to listen to a song like The Reason and feel its lyrics in your bones. You know what it’s like to manifest the hope that your own partner could be as self-aware as the singer conveys. That he could be as emotionally mature, and vulnerable enough to claim liability. That he might realize you’re worth changing for Janna Leadbetterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06339705935553160673noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1178848256551614320.post-18592228724979769052019-12-18T14:10:00.001-06:002019-12-18T16:58:15.853-06:00All I Want for Christmas - a DV poem
Dedicated to Domestic Abuse Survivors
I do want a lot for Christmas
But it’s not too much to ask
Because I’m learning what I’m worth
And that I have innate value (at last)
First on my list is the freedom to be me
Without criticism or argument
Able to be and do and think on my own
Since I’m not someone else’s puppet
Second is room to grow, Santa
Because I’ve been held back Janna Leadbetterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06339705935553160673noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1178848256551614320.post-65343160458420194642019-11-21T18:27:00.003-06:002019-11-21T18:27:24.970-06:00I'm Published on Scary MommyScary Mommy published my essay, Someone Else's Transgender Identity Isn't About You, in November of 2019. It's an important piece, and I'm supremely proud of it.Janna Leadbetterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06339705935553160673noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1178848256551614320.post-33545617957941543672019-08-31T09:43:00.002-05:002019-08-31T09:44:19.349-05:00Jiminy Pays a Visit
Recently I read a reminder that grasshoppers are good luck, and realized I hadn't seen one in ages.
On Thursday I spotted a GIANT one on the outside of my living room window.
Yesterday morning I woke to find a small one inside, resting high on the closet door in our front room. When he was still there last night after work, I decided to keep him and name him Jiminy. When he was still there Janna Leadbetterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06339705935553160673noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1178848256551614320.post-72705581206008677052019-08-14T17:41:00.002-05:002019-08-14T17:42:44.619-05:00New Resident Log: Day Two
It's cozy here. Not real tidy at the moment, but homey none the less. I can overlook the dirty dishes.
I'm being very careful to exist with little to no lasting impact. Nobody likes a new roommate who isn't conscientious about that.
Janna doesn't know that I've been sleeping with her at night. (And she thinks that guy with the weird eye---she calls him Rooney---is the bed hog. If only she had Janna Leadbetterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06339705935553160673noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1178848256551614320.post-1701594805692768722019-07-07T09:42:00.000-05:002019-07-07T09:48:20.214-05:00From Fiction to Truth
Back when I was a writer of fiction, and planned the same for my future, I had no idea how important truth would become to me.
Now, roughly a decade later, truth is my platform.
I didn't anticipate the shift. I've been hesitant to wholly accept it, too. Thought I still had to honor the fiction dream, make room for it, keep myself promised to it. That *that's* what made me a writer.
I've Janna Leadbetterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06339705935553160673noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1178848256551614320.post-64994654535454872762019-06-09T18:14:00.000-05:002019-06-09T18:15:15.091-05:00Journey with Janna: finding JOY after abuseFrom my Facebook advocacy page, Breaking the Silence for Women:
Dear Sister Survivors,
Breaking the Silence for Women was established to educate and empower women who are experiencing or have escaped domestic abuse.
What if, instead of working to "break the silence" for collective other women, I shifted gears to help individual women break their own?
Don't panic.
That doesn't mean you Janna Leadbetterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06339705935553160673noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1178848256551614320.post-50175944456092268292019-06-09T09:04:00.002-05:002019-06-09T09:06:34.282-05:00Not to be TornIt occurs to me after much recent contemplation, and some studies which align to what I'm about to say, that the key to avoiding the torn place I mentioned a couple weeks ago is this:
Gratitude, joy, and good things are manifested by continually believing something wonderful is going to happen. So do it. Believe. Expect wonderful.
Expect wonderful for yourself and from the universe, in whateverJanna Leadbetterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06339705935553160673noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1178848256551614320.post-67987268602771927732019-06-06T14:26:00.000-05:002019-06-06T14:35:51.645-05:00When Public Housing Gives You More Than Your Abusive Ex Ever Did
I and my two teenagers live in public housing. People make assumptions, but all I say to those assumptions is that one does what is best when considering all options, and also, what makes a home comes down to a whole lot more. Plus, while it’s already been four years here, this won’t be a forever thing, so who the hell cares?
Today, before lunch, the maintenance men delivered a brand-new Janna Leadbetterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06339705935553160673noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1178848256551614320.post-18972644157498692392019-05-28T14:47:00.001-05:002019-05-28T14:51:47.312-05:00When the Universe Hears and RepliesSometimes I feel like the universe doesn't hear my call. My wishes. My deep, dark wants, which feels like I am left without. But then sometimes the universe does hear---and it doesn't just hear, it replies. That's when I know I am fulfilled.
Such was true over the holiday weekend.
Memorial Day is a big deal for cemeteries in America. And because I'm employed by a large funeral home, which Janna Leadbetterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06339705935553160673noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1178848256551614320.post-76422278583467666312019-05-23T16:01:00.002-05:002019-05-23T16:17:15.541-05:00I'm Just TiredI don't know about you, but
I'm tired of being nice. I'm tired of being thoughtful and of offering consideration toward others, without receiving the same in return. I'm tired of being responsible, and productive, but also of not being able to do enough. I'm tired of being strong, and of doing so much on my own. Of pulling up my boot straps while knowing it's because I have no other choice.
I'mJanna Leadbetterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06339705935553160673noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1178848256551614320.post-74566105256976003622019-05-17T14:01:00.002-05:002019-05-17T14:04:59.740-05:00Torn
Torn between hope
"Always expect something wonderful to happen"
and self-preservation
"The only way to be happy is to stop expecting anything from other people"
in perpetuity.
Janna Leadbetterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06339705935553160673noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1178848256551614320.post-21053865026798113572019-04-10T20:44:00.002-05:002019-04-10T21:10:51.801-05:00How Our "Selves" Help Us Heal from Abuse
I’ve been thinking about something since last weekend, and knew an essay was coming. Here it be.
What follows are my personal interpretations of a theory presented by Mark Ettensohn, Psy.D., in his book, Unmasking Narcissism: A Guide to Understanding the Narcissist in Your Life.
Dr. Ettensohn suggests the idea that we each have three selves. I feel strongly that understanding these selves is Janna Leadbetterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06339705935553160673noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1178848256551614320.post-56438295136890660332019-04-01T19:18:00.001-05:002019-04-10T20:49:05.663-05:00Hello, Beautiful! (A Book Review)Finally Love Yourself Just As You Are: An Interactive Devotional Journal for Women
With voices both affectionate and thought-provoking, Hello, Beautiful! co-authors Jeanette Levellie and Beth Gormong jump into a clear truth.
“We’ve all known women who’ve put their husbands, children, and friends ahead of their own genuine need for value and love, only to end up mentally burned outJanna Leadbetterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06339705935553160673noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1178848256551614320.post-1385665465963964122019-02-12T18:59:00.001-06:002019-02-12T19:01:17.508-06:00Check on Your Friends
We deal with a significant, heartbreaking amount of suicide at the funeral home where I work. I have yet to see a pattern.
So check on your friends.
The ones who are single, widowed, or divorced.The friends who are coupled, even if they tout and shout happiness and fulfillment, but especially if they don't.The ones who don't worry about finances, and the ones who do.The ones living with Janna Leadbetterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06339705935553160673noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1178848256551614320.post-92144272847812670832019-02-02T18:43:00.000-06:002019-02-02T19:30:39.294-06:00Walking Was My TherapySeveral years back we lived in a small town of about 1800 people. It never felt like home to me, and for a couple of reasons. One was that life for my kids and me had changed drastically, but not so as to allow the fresh start I truly needed. (That would come later, and with good timing.) Two, because I grew up in the Northland of Kansas City on the Missouri side, and I will always be a city girlJanna Leadbetterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06339705935553160673noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1178848256551614320.post-26475689654221087492018-12-16T12:21:00.002-06:002018-12-16T12:26:56.382-06:0010-Year-Old Me Lives AgainA few weeks ago, I had occasion to visit a client at his house. We'd spent weeks planning his final wishes and it was time to finalize a contract.* So, I'd agreed that since he and his mother, who is also his guardian, had already come to the funeral home where I work for several meetings, I'd visit them in their home.
We handled business first. Priority. Because mom isn't some spring chicken Janna Leadbetterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06339705935553160673noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1178848256551614320.post-80607412044764949362018-12-07T07:00:00.000-06:002018-12-07T10:31:58.479-06:00To the Woman Living Her Own Life
Today let's celebrate the woman who has pulled herself from situations she realized were beneath her, which she deserved better than.
She who recognized her own potential, even when others couldn't, and decided to chase after it. On her own terms.
She who took charge. She made hard decisions because that's what was best. Healthiest. Absolutely necessary, do or die, long and painful and in theJanna Leadbetterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06339705935553160673noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1178848256551614320.post-45824195316481708032018-12-02T11:32:00.005-06:002018-12-02T11:38:21.159-06:00Man Catcalls, Mom Reacts
It was dark and cold as we scurried through the Target parking lot toward our car last night. It had somehow been one of our quicker stops at one of our favorite stores, and we left with little more than toilet paper and Will Farrell's Elf on DVD. We were ready to get home after a long day.
So it caught us completely off-guard as a gross adult man shouted vulgar things through his car window, Janna Leadbetterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06339705935553160673noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1178848256551614320.post-58864500481147543912018-11-18T17:09:00.001-06:002018-11-18T17:56:35.736-06:00I'm Not Afraid of Bully MenI recently had occasion to prove it to myself. That I'm not just talk when it comes to my advocacy, or speaking out against abuse by men. That I've grown a full, beautiful backbone and, it turns out, I know how to use it in real time.
There was this thing at work. A thing wherein a man who believes he makes his own rules, a man who wanted to take control when it was mine to maintain, tried to Janna Leadbetterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06339705935553160673noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1178848256551614320.post-4329579172736627682018-11-13T20:08:00.002-06:002018-11-13T20:08:34.931-06:00 Changed: Not Just a CharmI work in a funeral home and its cemetery, have for over a year now. It can be tough and draining, but it's rewarding. I find it challenging and yet filled with some of the best, realest parts of human nature, and the magic of life at its end. There's only one way to say I love the industry.
I spend a lot of time with families, and a fair amount of that time is devoted to prearranging funeral Janna Leadbetterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06339705935553160673noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1178848256551614320.post-75132922403042272842018-11-03T07:41:00.000-05:002018-11-03T07:43:17.066-05:00Same Blog, New BloggerIt's been eleven years since I created Something She Wrote. It's been seven since I wholeheartedly called this place my home. Since I nested here. Kept it warm. Left the light on for me and for you.
Used to be I spent a lot of time in these digs. This is where I honed my writing. It's where I found my creative voice.
In those seven years everything has changed...
I got divorced in the fall of Janna Leadbetterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06339705935553160673noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1178848256551614320.post-24267726644350274972018-10-14T13:11:00.001-05:002018-10-14T13:11:53.948-05:00Anyone out there?Something She Wrote is making a comeback in less than a month!
Stay tuned...Janna Leadbetterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06339705935553160673noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1178848256551614320.post-53191763020522111902014-07-04T16:01:00.000-05:002018-10-13T14:01:29.931-05:00
Janna launched a new website in June 2014.
You can find her at Woman, Determined.
Janna Leadbetterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06339705935553160673noreply@blogger.com