Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Thank God for the Yogurt Cup

Sometimes, you know, stuff happens. Sometimes, if you're lucky, that stuff makes you giggle madly. Just before you realize it makes good fodder for fiction.

Allow me to set the scene:

Annual church float trip. Our group has descended upon the campground, covered it with tents. We've visited, eaten and had campfire, and my family, because bedtime approacheth, have walked the hill to the public restroom, ensuring no need for mid-night traipses to the potty.

We four have settled among pillows and atop semi-cushy blankets. We listen to the whir of the electric fan my husband has rigged to a car battery, think dreamy thoughts. Sleep takes first one, and the next, another, me.

But soon (all-too-soon) I am awakened.

I try to ignore it, the reason I've come to. Because it's not that bad. Because really, could I tippy-toe to the tent flap over three mounded and peaceful bodies? Could I unzip it soundlessly, climb out, traverse the rocky, tree root-laden ground with my clumsy nature and ridiculous nearsighted eyes? It's got to be, what, one in the morning? It's too dark, it's too late, it's too much an inconvenience.

Oh, but no. Something has to be done. Because I really have to piddle.

I try to coax my bladder into surrender, just until morning. Please. But it doesn't work, and I have to brainstorm. There's got to be something I can do from within the comforts of our tent. Now.

My thoughts slam into memory of the empty yogurt cup my daughter carried around early in the day. The yogurt cup I tossed in my bag, the one within my reach, telling myself it could come in handy for camping. For some purpose.

Thank God for the yogurt cup.

And so, well, you know. In the corner of the tent, right next to a handy slot that opens to outside.

Fill. Dump. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.

In retrospect, it may have been easier to walk the hill.

I lie back, settling in once again. And I giggle madly.

That's good fodder.

47 comments:

Sara (07GRAD) said...

I hope the hole in the tent wasn't where someone stepped later on!!!!!!!!!!!

Lori said...

See, this is where it helps to be as creative as you are.

Donna M. Kohlstrom said...

That's hysterical!! And reminds me of many of my camping adventures. And you're so creative!

Jody Hedlund said...

Oh, you are so funny! I love it! Reminds me of a family trip and my son had to piddle not long after we'd been on the road (after one of many stops!). I found an empty pop bottle and he filled it! Wouldn't work for a girl, mind you! But it worked perfectly well for him! (And us!)

Melissa Marsh said...

Hahahahaha! This is great, Janna. You have more gumption than me. I would have made the trek to the potty. Actually, I probably wouldn't have went camping in the first place. I like having a flushing toilet nearby at all times. ;-)

Terri Tiffany said...

LOL!!! Oh that is too funny--but at least you have wonderful bladder control to fill and dump--wait till you get older!!:)) PS I don't camp anymore cause I love having a bathroom close.

Stephanie Faris said...

I would have ended up making the journey...then I would have been unable to get back to sleep again because all the activity would have woken me up too much.

Something similar happened to me last summer. We were at a friend's house, having spent the night, and I woke up way too early having to pee. The bathroom was in between the girls' bedroom, where kids were sleeping on the floor, and the parents' bedroom, where my boyfriend's married friends were sleeping. In order to get there I'd have to crawl off of the air mattress, where I was sleeping with my boyfriend's daughter, and either wake up a bunch of kids or wake up a couple I barely knew to get to the bathroom. I lay there for over an hour and finally somebody got up...but I was really thinking about just taking my boyfriend's car to a nearby gas station and using it since I was close to the driveway and the cars...that would have been easier!

JLC said...

*Raises hand* Been there, done that! Only it wasn't a yogurt cup, it was my child's little potty training toilet seat. The one made only for tiny 2yo butts.

Camping 'adventures' are endless. :)

scarlethue said...

I can't tell you how many times I've squatted in the woods.... No luxury of a yogurt cup and the cover of a tent-- just me and the grass! I always have to go in the middle of the night too, which makes for interesting camping trips

Janna Qualman said...

Sara - Of course not, silly.

Lori - I suppose. ;)

Donna - LOL!

Jody - Tricky! Poor guy. :)

Melissa - I don't like to camp. But sometimes I pretend. ;)

Terri - I'm not admitting to anything right now... ;)

Stephanie - ROFL! That's hilarious!

JLC - Thank goodness for the wee toilet!

scarlethue - I've done that before, too. Just couldn't this time - there were too many other people around!

Lazy Writer said...

That is great fodder! When the bladder if full, something must be done! I once pulled over to the side of the highway and piddled in a cup. I was making the twelve hour drive to Austin with my then two-year-old and six-month-old. They had both finally fallen asleep and no way was I going to wake them up to go into the bathroom somewhere!

lakeviewer said...

A girl's got to do what a girl's got to do. Good for you and the yogurt cup.

Susan J. Reinhardt said...

Hi Janna -

You brave woman! I would have trekked to the bathroom. Come to think of it, I'd be in a comfy hotel room. LOL!

Blessings,
Susan :)

Janna Qualman said...

Lazy Writer - I sure don't blame you!

lakeviewer - *high five* :)

Susan - If I'd had my druthers, I'd have been in one, too. ;)

Rebecca Nazar said...

Ahhhhhh yogurt, is there nothing it can't do? ;-)

Melanie Avila said...

This is totally as funny as you hoped it was!

I especially love the multiple repeats. :) That would be me for sure. I've piddled in some strange places in Mexico...

Nadine said...

OMG, this cracked me up!! And I loved that you used the word piddle!! When we were driving up the coast of CA recently, I kept eyeing my empty water bottle but eventually we found a place to stop so there was no need.

However, on a hike about 6 months ago, I really had to go and there was no trees, bushes, etc around anywhere. Just sloping mountains where anyone could be. I just hope no one had a zoom lense.

Jessica said...

This is why I prefer not to camp. LOL!

Glad you found something... *snicker*

Ladybird World Mother said...

I am actually laughing out loud... that was lovely. Oh I shall never look at a yogurt pot in the same way.... how did you HOLD in the middle of this, your youknowwhere muscles must be really good. Oh , am giggling again.... xx

Janna Qualman said...

Becca - Funny! ;)

Melanie - I'm sure you have some awesome (or not-so-awesome) stories to tell.

Nadine - No tellin' where your photo would end up. ;)

Jessica - I was a desperate girl!

Ladybird - Actually, I thought I was pretty puny after two kidlets, but I guess I'm doin' alright! *guffaw*

Karen said...

Too funny. I'm glad you shared that intimate moment. :0

I've had to stop on side of the road traveling in Mexico with the hopes that the brush was thick enough and no bees were near.

Janet said...

Oh man. I won't be able to eat yellow yogurt again for a long, long time.

Kathryn Magendie said...

LAUGHING! OMG ...you didn't! laughing - Probably would have done it myself- damn my bladder! laughing.....

septembermom said...

Your post started my giggles! You were very resourceful!

Janna Qualman said...

Karen - Ooh, bees would be baaad.

Janet - ROFL!

Kat - *grins*

septembermom - I love a good giggle. ;)

Angie Ledbetter said...

Ah, nothing like the great outdoors! (Was it Activia, and were you taking the Activia Challenge?) :)

We used to camp so much on vacations and in Scouts, we had a cool plastic bucket with a screw on lid for just that purpose.

Janna Qualman said...

Angie - Good idea!

Sharla said...

LOL! Oh you are too funny! I have done many of those blind tripping bug-ridden midnight walks to the bathroom and know your pain!!

Personally, my own story happened in a fishing boat. My husband can drink water after water after water and "take care of business" off the side of the boat with no problems. I don't have that luxury. I have to go without water for the most part because I have nowhere to send it later! So there was once that I had to go regardless, and had to get on my knees below the rims of the boat sides and go in a coffee can previously used for shrimp.

My husband thought it was hilarious. Hmmm, yeah.

Jill Kemerer said...

Isn't this what they did in the olden days? Nice thinking!

Janna Qualman said...

Sharla - Hilarious mental picture! (Er, so sorry.)

Jill - Yogurt cups? Could be. ;)

Strange Fiction said...

Love the story and love your blog! Very creative on both counts!

Janna Qualman said...

Thanks so much, Strange Fiction!

Glynis said...

How wonderful! The moral of the story is... always take yoghurt when you go camping. LOL

Deb Shucka said...

Too funny! I'm giggling right along with you.

Janna Qualman said...

Glynis - It is! Good moral. ;)

Deb - *hoots and hollers*

Brian and Kelly said...

Wish I'd thought of that. I trapsed up the hill. We probably would have met...

Janna Qualman said...

Kelly - I wondered about ya, and that pregnant bladder. :)

TechnoBabe said...

Good thing you listened to you inner self and kept that yogurt cup right where it would be needed for second duty. All of us who have camped can relate to this post. You have a nice way of describing it so it makes us smile and not cringe.

Cheffie-Mom said...

Congrats on the Post of the Day Award!

Janna Qualman said...

TechnoBabe - Welcome! Smiles are much better than cringes. :)

Cheffie-Mom - Thanks so much! And I'm pleased you stopped by. :)

gaelikaa said...

It's amazing what comes in handy sometimes!

Janna Qualman said...

gaelikka - Thanks for stopping by! And I agree. :)

Janna Qualman said...

I'm sorry, gaelikaa, I spelled your username wrong. :(

Ayak said...

Have just discovered your blog from authorblog's Post of the Day Award...congratulations!

Very funny story and brings back memories of so many unusual places I' ve used for the call of nature!

Looking forward to reading more of your blog

Best wishes
Ayak (Turkish Delight)

Janna Qualman said...

Thanks so much, Ayak! And welcome. :)

♥ Boomer ♥ said...

H.I.L.A.R.I.O.U.S!!!!

GREAT post! Only ladies can relate. Here from David's with a big thank you for the guffaw I just enjoyed!

Janna Qualman said...

Thank you, Boomer! And awesome username.