Allow me to set the scene:
Annual church float trip. Our group has descended upon the campground, covered it with tents. We've visited, eaten and had campfire, and my family, because bedtime approacheth, have walked the hill to the public restroom, ensuring no need for mid-night traipses to the potty.
We four have settled among pillows and atop semi-cushy blankets. We listen to the whir of the electric fan my husband has rigged to a car battery, think dreamy thoughts. Sleep takes first one, and the next, another, me.
But soon (all-too-soon) I am awakened.
I try to ignore it, the reason I've come to. Because it's not that bad. Because really, could I tippy-toe to the tent flap over three mounded and peaceful bodies? Could I unzip it soundlessly, climb out, traverse the rocky, tree root-laden ground with my clumsy nature and ridiculous nearsighted eyes? It's got to be, what, one in the morning? It's too dark, it's too late, it's too much an inconvenience.
Oh, but no. Something has to be done. Because I really have to piddle.
I try to coax my bladder into surrender, just until morning. Please. But it doesn't work, and I have to brainstorm. There's got to be something I can do from within the comforts of our tent. Now.
My thoughts slam into memory of the empty yogurt cup my daughter carried around early in the day. The yogurt cup I tossed in my bag, the one within my reach, telling myself it could come in handy for camping. For some purpose.
Thank God for the yogurt cup.
And so, well, you know. In the corner of the tent, right next to a handy slot that opens to outside.
Fill. Dump. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.
In retrospect, it may have been easier to walk the hill.
I lie back, settling in once again. And I giggle madly.
That's good fodder.
47 comments:
I hope the hole in the tent wasn't where someone stepped later on!!!!!!!!!!!
See, this is where it helps to be as creative as you are.
That's hysterical!! And reminds me of many of my camping adventures. And you're so creative!
Oh, you are so funny! I love it! Reminds me of a family trip and my son had to piddle not long after we'd been on the road (after one of many stops!). I found an empty pop bottle and he filled it! Wouldn't work for a girl, mind you! But it worked perfectly well for him! (And us!)
Hahahahaha! This is great, Janna. You have more gumption than me. I would have made the trek to the potty. Actually, I probably wouldn't have went camping in the first place. I like having a flushing toilet nearby at all times. ;-)
LOL!!! Oh that is too funny--but at least you have wonderful bladder control to fill and dump--wait till you get older!!:)) PS I don't camp anymore cause I love having a bathroom close.
I would have ended up making the journey...then I would have been unable to get back to sleep again because all the activity would have woken me up too much.
Something similar happened to me last summer. We were at a friend's house, having spent the night, and I woke up way too early having to pee. The bathroom was in between the girls' bedroom, where kids were sleeping on the floor, and the parents' bedroom, where my boyfriend's married friends were sleeping. In order to get there I'd have to crawl off of the air mattress, where I was sleeping with my boyfriend's daughter, and either wake up a bunch of kids or wake up a couple I barely knew to get to the bathroom. I lay there for over an hour and finally somebody got up...but I was really thinking about just taking my boyfriend's car to a nearby gas station and using it since I was close to the driveway and the cars...that would have been easier!
*Raises hand* Been there, done that! Only it wasn't a yogurt cup, it was my child's little potty training toilet seat. The one made only for tiny 2yo butts.
Camping 'adventures' are endless. :)
I can't tell you how many times I've squatted in the woods.... No luxury of a yogurt cup and the cover of a tent-- just me and the grass! I always have to go in the middle of the night too, which makes for interesting camping trips
Sara - Of course not, silly.
Lori - I suppose. ;)
Donna - LOL!
Jody - Tricky! Poor guy. :)
Melissa - I don't like to camp. But sometimes I pretend. ;)
Terri - I'm not admitting to anything right now... ;)
Stephanie - ROFL! That's hilarious!
JLC - Thank goodness for the wee toilet!
scarlethue - I've done that before, too. Just couldn't this time - there were too many other people around!
That is great fodder! When the bladder if full, something must be done! I once pulled over to the side of the highway and piddled in a cup. I was making the twelve hour drive to Austin with my then two-year-old and six-month-old. They had both finally fallen asleep and no way was I going to wake them up to go into the bathroom somewhere!
A girl's got to do what a girl's got to do. Good for you and the yogurt cup.
Hi Janna -
You brave woman! I would have trekked to the bathroom. Come to think of it, I'd be in a comfy hotel room. LOL!
Blessings,
Susan :)
Lazy Writer - I sure don't blame you!
lakeviewer - *high five* :)
Susan - If I'd had my druthers, I'd have been in one, too. ;)
Ahhhhhh yogurt, is there nothing it can't do? ;-)
This is totally as funny as you hoped it was!
I especially love the multiple repeats. :) That would be me for sure. I've piddled in some strange places in Mexico...
OMG, this cracked me up!! And I loved that you used the word piddle!! When we were driving up the coast of CA recently, I kept eyeing my empty water bottle but eventually we found a place to stop so there was no need.
However, on a hike about 6 months ago, I really had to go and there was no trees, bushes, etc around anywhere. Just sloping mountains where anyone could be. I just hope no one had a zoom lense.
This is why I prefer not to camp. LOL!
Glad you found something... *snicker*
I am actually laughing out loud... that was lovely. Oh I shall never look at a yogurt pot in the same way.... how did you HOLD in the middle of this, your youknowwhere muscles must be really good. Oh , am giggling again.... xx
Becca - Funny! ;)
Melanie - I'm sure you have some awesome (or not-so-awesome) stories to tell.
Nadine - No tellin' where your photo would end up. ;)
Jessica - I was a desperate girl!
Ladybird - Actually, I thought I was pretty puny after two kidlets, but I guess I'm doin' alright! *guffaw*
Too funny. I'm glad you shared that intimate moment. :0
I've had to stop on side of the road traveling in Mexico with the hopes that the brush was thick enough and no bees were near.
Oh man. I won't be able to eat yellow yogurt again for a long, long time.
LAUGHING! OMG ...you didn't! laughing - Probably would have done it myself- damn my bladder! laughing.....
Your post started my giggles! You were very resourceful!
Karen - Ooh, bees would be baaad.
Janet - ROFL!
Kat - *grins*
septembermom - I love a good giggle. ;)
Ah, nothing like the great outdoors! (Was it Activia, and were you taking the Activia Challenge?) :)
We used to camp so much on vacations and in Scouts, we had a cool plastic bucket with a screw on lid for just that purpose.
Angie - Good idea!
LOL! Oh you are too funny! I have done many of those blind tripping bug-ridden midnight walks to the bathroom and know your pain!!
Personally, my own story happened in a fishing boat. My husband can drink water after water after water and "take care of business" off the side of the boat with no problems. I don't have that luxury. I have to go without water for the most part because I have nowhere to send it later! So there was once that I had to go regardless, and had to get on my knees below the rims of the boat sides and go in a coffee can previously used for shrimp.
My husband thought it was hilarious. Hmmm, yeah.
Isn't this what they did in the olden days? Nice thinking!
Sharla - Hilarious mental picture! (Er, so sorry.)
Jill - Yogurt cups? Could be. ;)
Love the story and love your blog! Very creative on both counts!
Thanks so much, Strange Fiction!
How wonderful! The moral of the story is... always take yoghurt when you go camping. LOL
Too funny! I'm giggling right along with you.
Glynis - It is! Good moral. ;)
Deb - *hoots and hollers*
Wish I'd thought of that. I trapsed up the hill. We probably would have met...
Kelly - I wondered about ya, and that pregnant bladder. :)
Good thing you listened to you inner self and kept that yogurt cup right where it would be needed for second duty. All of us who have camped can relate to this post. You have a nice way of describing it so it makes us smile and not cringe.
Congrats on the Post of the Day Award!
TechnoBabe - Welcome! Smiles are much better than cringes. :)
Cheffie-Mom - Thanks so much! And I'm pleased you stopped by. :)
It's amazing what comes in handy sometimes!
gaelikka - Thanks for stopping by! And I agree. :)
I'm sorry, gaelikaa, I spelled your username wrong. :(
Have just discovered your blog from authorblog's Post of the Day Award...congratulations!
Very funny story and brings back memories of so many unusual places I' ve used for the call of nature!
Looking forward to reading more of your blog
Best wishes
Ayak (Turkish Delight)
Thanks so much, Ayak! And welcome. :)
H.I.L.A.R.I.O.U.S!!!!
GREAT post! Only ladies can relate. Here from David's with a big thank you for the guffaw I just enjoyed!
Thank you, Boomer! And awesome username.
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