Thursday, February 5, 2009

Sometimes I Wonder


It was a great movie, and an even better 80s tv show (says me). I'm sore excited it's to be redone.

My high school show choir (you know, singing and dancing while wearing pretty dresses and heels, the guys in matching vests and sharp, black pants) did a medley of Fame's music my senior year. The lyrics from Own My Own - along with a memory of the moment I stepped forward on stage to sing some of them in the spotlight - came rushing back to me this past weekend.

I get pumped when I think about it. It.was.awesome. And I miss those days.

Every year when we watch American Idol (season 8 has gone to Hollywood!), any short-lived singing dream I may have once had thumbs its nose at me. What if... I'd gone on to college and studied vocal music? What if I sang every chance I got, or had enough confidence to try for a local talent show? I know I can sing, but can I sing? Sometimes I wonder.

I just don't put too much stock in that "dream."

Instead, I write. I love it most, and it suits me much better; the solidarity, the fact that I can do it without putting myself out there in such a visible way, the... well, the being on my own. It's where I really shine.

Where do you shine?

Do you have an underlying dream?


I missed everyone during my extended absence! My oldest got sick with the tummy flu on our trip, which delayed our return. (She's much better now, thank goodness.) Once we did get home, I got waylaid by another migraine, and after getting the house back in order and grocery shopping and the like, I'm just now hoisting back into the saddle. How's everyone been?


Donna M. Kohlstrom said...

Glad you made it back home safe!

My dream has always been to be a dancer. I've been dancing since I was three...everything from tap, clogging, disco, jazz and ballroom. Events in my life kept shoving stoppers into my dream. A year ago I thought I'd try to revive it. I took several ballroom classes, which I loved, but for health reasons I couldn't continue.

So like you, I am dreaming of the great American novel and fullfilling my other passion to write.

Terri Tiffany said...

missed you and glad you are back!
I always wanted to be a dancer too like Donna. Got to be one in highschool one year but never the way I wanted to be--on Broadway!LOL Love those dreams--they are what keep us going!

Anonymous said...

I'm glad you're back. Also happy to hear you and your daughter are feeling better.

Didn't know you could sing...awesome! A girl of many talents.


Linda Hoye said...

Welcome back! My dream has always been to be a write of some sort.

Angie Ledbetter said...

Welcome back!

No particular talent that I can tell, but if I had to do it all over again, I'd have probably gotten my degree in Psychology since I'm so fond of brain picking and analyzing. Living the writing dream (sorta) now. :)

Jewel Allen said...

I'm sorry about your sick kiddo. Glad to see you back.

I would be a dancer...

Janna Leadbetter said...

Donna - I'm so sorry to hear you're unable to dance anymore. This makes me think of my dad, who has always been able to play any instrument by ear, except that medical issues now make it hard for his fingers and hands to function the way they used to.

Terri - Broadway would be awesome!

FringeGirl - I only wish I'd had the same level of confidence in myself then as I do now. Oh, the places I could have gone. :)

Linda - It's certainly a great dream. :)

Angie - Academically, that would be my choice, as well. Fascinating! And I have to say, with your smart glasses, you'd look quite the psychiatrist!. ;)

Jewel - Thanks. I'm so glad she's better. And I think I could have guessed the dancer thing about you! ;)

Joanne said...

Glad you're settling back into being home. I'd like to play amazing piano, I mean rip into it. And paint. But sometimes I correlate painting with writing, sweeping color and emotion onto the page, my words the paint.

Melanie Hooyenga said...

I'm glad everyone is feeling better.

Hidden talent? Hmm... salsa dancing seems to always surprise people, but I'm certainly not good enough to do anything with it. It's just a fun hooby.

Melanie Hooyenga said...

^^^ hobby. Hubby was rubbing my shoulders when I typed that and I think he leaked into my brain.

Janna Leadbetter said...

Joanne - Ooh, piano would be really cool!

Melanie - I was just coming to say... I didn't know if it was intentional, but that word is perfect. "Hooby." And it has me giggling in fits! ROFL

Jessica Nelson said...

I think about my past a lot. The choices I've made, where they've brought me. So many little things that can forever change your path.

Melissa Amateis said...

I've always wondered if I could make it as a singer. I do love to sing, but never really thought it could be a career.

So glad you're back in Blogland again! Missed you!

Melanie Hooyenga said...

So I created a new word?

Janet said...

I know how you feel. I did Oliver and Fiddler on the Roof, as well as a bunch of singing and guitar playing on my own initiative. But I was absolutely not prepared to make the sacrifices and I knew it.

One of my sons is going that route. He has a very hard time keeping a girlfriend... A family is not even on his radar screen.

Anonymous said...

Glad things are back to normal and everyone is feeling better.

Great post! I try not to think about the 'what ifs'. If I followed those other dreams, I may not be here with a wonderful hubby and great kids!

I think I shine in the front of a class or as a college student. I really enjoy both!

WendyCinNYC said...

Glad you are back and the little one is better. I guess my only dream was to have a book published. Still working on that one.

I also wanted to play guitar in a rock band. Didn't work out. Maybe the fact that I don't play the guitar had something to do with it.

Janna Leadbetter said...

Jessica - Isn't that the truth? Maybe it's best not to delve too far into the what ifs because of that.

Melissa - I hear ya!

Mel - Yes, it's a great one! ROFL

Janet - It would definitely be a tough road to go. I hope your son finds the success he's after! Kudos to him.

Turkey - You'd be a great teacher! Is that what you did before kiddos?

Wendy - *said as Molly Shannon* Superstar! ;)

Anonymous said...

Sweetie, if you have that talent for song why would you waste it and always wonder about the whatif's??

When you get to the end of your life; hope that you do not have a single bit of talent left and can honestly say, ‘I used everything He gave to me.’

Janna Leadbetter said...

Kimmi, that's really true. I don't want to look back and regret anything. Still, I do sing for church and special events, so I guess the talent's not totally wasted. Right?

You know what I've always wanted to do but just now remembered? Sing for radio jingles! But how does one do that?!

Anonymous said...

Janna --that is very easy. That's called voice-overs--modeling. And I know you hate to hear this word, but you can scout for a local modeling ageny, agent, not modeling school. And you pay them nothing--just like $$$ flows to the author--so it is in modeling.

Janna Leadbetter said...

Sweet, Kimmi! Maybe I'll at least look into it. Thanks!

BiPolar Wife said...

Sometimes I don't remember what my dreams are...I'm just happy trying to help my kids figure out theirs right now!

Glad your little one (and you!) are better sweetie!

Jen said...

I'm glad you're back and that your little one is better. And another dratted migraine? *hugs*

Dreams? When I was a young girl, I *really* wanted ballet lessons...I wanted to dance in The Nutcracker, in Swan leap and turn so gracefully!

I even borrowed a book from the library that showed me the six positions and made a barre from a discarded closet rod. But it wasn't to be. I did learn those positions and how to do an arabesque, a tour jete and a few other things thanks to a brief experience with gymnastics.

I also played the cello briefly, and have always regretted having to give it up...I loved the sound of that instrument.

Other than that, writing is the only dream I've consistently had. *smile*

Joshua said...

welcome back cous. I still dream of conducting an orchestra or being a trauma doc.

Sometimes the dreams get mixed up and I'm either a confused conductor try to operate or a blade weilding doctor scaring the crap out of an orchestra.

Still fun though :)

Kathryn Magendie said...

Glad you are back!

I sometimes wonder where I'd be in my writing career if I'd have pursued that dream much much earlier instead of taking a path that veered me off-course....

Janna Leadbetter said...

Michaéle - That's such a commendable thing, helping your kids figure their goals and dreams out! Just don't forget about your own!

Jen - Dancing seems to be a common one. How cool you were self-taught with some things!

Josh - ROFL! I lurve you.

Kat - I can definitely see how such thoughts might take up brain space. But look at you now!

colbymarshall said...

For better or for worse, I have a habit of, if I have the dream, I will try it. I thought I'd love competitive ballroom, so I started. I love to write and so am trying to get published. Not "just dreaming" sometimes causes me some heartache because it's always easier to think about it than to do it, but I know life's too short not to give things a whirl.

Janna Leadbetter said...

Colby, what a fantastic perspective to have. Go you!

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