Good question Janna. My last time was with a grandmother who is a neighbor. She legally adopted her 2 grandchildren due to her daughter's substance abuse, and they kids rarely see their birth mom now. The grandma recently lost her husband to a long illness and now is basically doing what I am doing as a parent except that she is in her 60s--and running solo. She is an inspirational person.
Hopefully this isn't TMI here. My sister "came out" four years ago. I've had to navigate through a lot of feelings. But I'm also sensitive to do just as you wrote...to really try to see and feel what it must be like for her. ~ Wendy
I don't know that this is something I've done lately. I'm more inclined to understand that everyone has their reasons for their actions, their thoughts, and respect that they may be different from my own.
Definitely a good question. I think... other than when I'm writing because when I'm writing, I have to put myself in my character's shoes... I think the last time was one night with the Little One. She was being particularly frustrating that night, and after she was in bed, my SO and I were discussing her behavoir. He gently reminded me that it's easy to forget she's just 6. It's easy to forget that her world is very small. I tried putting myself into her little shoes, and he's right. Life is very different when you have no responsibilities and no knowledge of the world outside your family and small group of friends. It completely changes your persepective and makes it easier to get on their level to deal with poor behavior.
Monday - my middle son calling, upset about his job. Not the job, but the location in the middle of nowhere. I remembered when I graduated from college, moved to a new town, knew no one. Depression. Loneliness. So used to having a large group of people to do anything with, at any time, in college. Tough transition.
Most important for me, is to step into my children's shoes and to see the world through their eyes. Not only does it help with parenting, it makes me feel like a kid again. :D
I am living with my mom and stepdad. They argue a lot. I do it all of the time. My mother gets very frustrated with my stepdad and I am constantly trying to see things from his point of view and share that with her to make a bridge. Sometimes she can see it and sometimes not. And maybe I don't even have it right. It's really hard to watch two people completely lose their ability to communicate with one another.
The last time I put myself in somebody else's shoes I felt guilty for wishing I had more than a sandwich for lunch. Because the somebody else had nothing.
I wanted God to help me see them from His perspective. It was much easier that way. It's almost like I'm compelled to love people instead of loathe them. It was a weight lifted, and quickly. Starting with my mother-in-law ;)
It brought me to tears. I had a conversation with a woman who was experiencing domestic abuse. It made me very thankful for God's blessings in my life, and she made me think about how everyone I meet has something big going on in their life. Great post, Miss Janna!
32 comments:
More than anything, this RQ is to get you thinking.
And if you haven't recently checked the view from someone else's place, I suggest it. It's something we all need to do from time to time.
Good question Janna. My last time was with a grandmother who is a neighbor. She legally adopted her 2 grandchildren due to her daughter's substance abuse, and they kids rarely see their birth mom now. The grandma recently lost her husband to a long illness and now is basically doing what I am doing as a parent except that she is in her 60s--and running solo. She is an inspirational person.
I started to cry, seeing them from God's eyes. Trying to love them in a way higher than myself. :O)
I had a better understanding of how they felt and they were treated and it made me change my actions and also to teach other to changes theirs!
I felt my heart beat again and realized I had become better for my action.
Hopefully this isn't TMI here. My sister "came out" four years ago. I've had to navigate through a lot of feelings. But I'm also sensitive to do just as you wrote...to really try to see and feel what it must be like for her.
~ Wendy
I don't know that this is something I've done lately. I'm more inclined to understand that everyone has their reasons for their actions, their thoughts, and respect that they may be different from my own.
I commiserated with a neighbor about her chronic health problems. Thought I really understood what it meant to be in her shoes.
Then it happened to me and I found that I only could have imagined before and the reality of being there myself was such a different experience.
Definitely a good question. I think... other than when I'm writing because when I'm writing, I have to put myself in my character's shoes... I think the last time was one night with the Little One. She was being particularly frustrating that night, and after she was in bed, my SO and I were discussing her behavoir. He gently reminded me that it's easy to forget she's just 6. It's easy to forget that her world is very small. I tried putting myself into her little shoes, and he's right. Life is very different when you have no responsibilities and no knowledge of the world outside your family and small group of friends. It completely changes your persepective and makes it easier to get on their level to deal with poor behavior.
Monday - my middle son calling, upset about his job. Not the job, but the location in the middle of nowhere. I remembered when I graduated from college, moved to a new town, knew no one. Depression. Loneliness. So used to having a large group of people to do anything with, at any time, in college. Tough transition.
At first the shoes pinched and rubbed a bit, but after a while, they got comfy. :)
Wow. I felt ashamed that I'd been whining about my insignificant problems, compared to their galactic issues.
Great question!
I like your new background!
Most important for me, is to step into my children's shoes and to see the world through their eyes. Not only does it help with parenting, it makes me feel like a kid again. :D
I stopped being mad and started feeling compassion. It changed my life.
Great question!
What would your answer be?
Love your new background.
I played with my kids more. Obviously the results vary each time.:)
Good question.
I tripped and fell. Thought I had all the answers.
I am living with my mom and stepdad. They argue a lot. I do it all of the time. My mother gets very frustrated with my stepdad and I am constantly trying to see things from his point of view and share that with her to make a bridge. Sometimes she can see it and sometimes not. And maybe I don't even have it right. It's really hard to watch two people completely lose their ability to communicate with one another.
The last time I put myself in someone else's shoes I realised that the shoe did not fit.
The last time I put myself in somebody else's shoes I felt guilty for wishing I had more than a sandwich for lunch. Because the somebody else had nothing.
I cried. I didn't care for it and wanted my own back.
I empathized, and my attitude toward them changed for the positive.
Love this post Janna. I wish people who do this more often.
I put myself in other people's shoes a lot and it makes me a kinder gentler person. I try to treat people how I would want to be treated.
It was humbling beyond description.
The same thing that happens every time--I hopped off my high horse and understood.
My feet got wet.
It's harder than it looks and you never know what might happen when you venture out into someone else's world.
Now for a warm towel and cup of coffee...
I wanted God to help me see them from His perspective.
It was much easier that way.
It's almost like I'm compelled to love people instead of loathe them.
It was a weight lifted, and quickly.
Starting with my mother-in-law ;)
It brought me to tears. I had a conversation with a woman who was experiencing domestic abuse. It made me very thankful for God's blessings in my life, and she made me think about how everyone I meet has something big going on in their life. Great post, Miss Janna!
I really love that everyone's thinking about this and being honest. Thank you!
I saw that, though I was going through something incredibly hard and hurting, I wasn't the only one. It's humbling.
It hurt, they had small feet :)
What a great quesion, Janna. But I think I'll have to meditate on this for a bit - it will probably serve me well to do so.
Blessings!
What happened last time I put myself in someone's shoes?....
...my wife came home and told me to get the heck out of her high heels.
I saw the vulnerability in the person. I saw past the anger and moved towards understanding.
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