The publication with the first installment of my new column arrived yesterday. How exciting! I ran (up the hill, huffing... I'm no runner) from the mailbox and burst through the door. "It CAME!" I yelled to my husband, who watched my frenzy with the newspaper for a half-second, then returned to his project.
Soon after discovering my treasure amidst sales flyers and a cell-phone bill we had to leave the house. I absorbed the column with new eyes as we drove to our destination. I was nervous, excited, proud. I was grinning like mad. And I was a bit disappointed to see they changed the wording in one of my sentences. Actually, it was supposed to have been two sentences, but they replaced a period with a comma and ran (on) with it. Hmph.
During our excursion I was able to show the article to a friend, who hadn't really been acquainted with my writing yet. I stewed while she quietly read, afraid of what her response might be. Is it really that good? I wondered. Is she gonna think I'm a dork with only mild talents? ...She did seem to like it, but then my string of doubts took over.
Through fits of wakefulness last night I kept thinking I should have included this or That word should have been omitted. I reread it now and, though I'm proud of it, I worry it'll flop. Maybe it won't get the warm welcome I'm hoping for within our community. What if I'm not the next Erma Bombeck? ;)
But I just have to get my mind out of the funk. I have to believe in my writing, right? And I do. I just need to keep remembering that not every single person will enjoy my words. But if I write them true to myself, making them as entertaining as I can, I will have succeeded at my job.