Where in the World is Janna's Motivation?

To be honest, I think I must've thrown it out. See, there were all the soggy Kleenex, back when I was dealing with that monster sinus infection. Maybe I scooped it up with the limp masses of tissue and unknowingly tossed it out. Or, maybe it got carried away with all the old bathroom guts the day we tore everything out and installed the new stuff. Perhaps it's clinging to the bowl of the old toilet right this minute, waiting for transfer to the Plumber's Graveyard.

Wait!

Maybe, just maybe, it's in the trunk of my car. It's possible I moved it back there when I shifted some of the girls' toys and books and things from the floorboard. It's certainly worth a look.

But wherever it is, I hope it's not lost forever. Because I really need it. Not only have I been unable to work on Novel #2 for WEEKS, but I'm having trouble coming up with good and thoughtful blog post ideas. This does not bode well for a writer. Or rather, Girl Who Calls Herself a Writer. Can't rightly claim the title if I can't do it.

I blame it (just a bit) on the fact that not only am I still recuperating from all those things I've been dealing with (I whine not - I know we all have such things shaping our existence day to day), but the fact that my house is in such disarray. Sure, we're making progress (HUGE!) with our remodel, but all the "normal" stuff - laundry, dishes, plain ol' organization - falls to the wayside in the meantime. And when all that stuff backs up, my brain gets frazzled. Discombobulated, even. ('Tis a great word I just had to throw in the mix.) I'm not in control, I feel no balance. Who can sit down and pound out a great novel when that's the case? Not me.

So my hope is that, while we work to get the last of our Before The Holidays Projects done, I can get all the other things reined in, too. And then maybe when I get my new office area put together, where I can spread my things over my desk and get a feel for my new space - without the threat of so many other things looming over me - I'll find my motivation sitting right in front of me. Like a beautifully wrapped present, waiting to be opened with flourish by yours truly.

Here's hoping.

It Can Be Done

So on this, the same day I posted about motivation and finding a balance, I had a quite successful afternoon and evening. I managed to kick myself in gear to: do housework (dishes, laundry, straightening), whip out my next column (!), rid the refrigerator of its rancid leftovers (never my strong suit), play computer games with my oldest, snuggle with my youngest, fix a homemade dinner of meatloaf and the fixin's, and pick up where I'd left off (months ago) in reading John Warner's Fondling Your Muse. Whew! And, blessedly, the day's not over yet. I just wanted to have a looksee at my favorite sites and post this update. Shortly, I'll be moving on to bake chocolate chip cookies (seriously, how can one go wrong with that?) and join my daughers in the veiwing of whichever installment of The Santa Claus is on t.v. tonight. Whew!

Have a blessed night!

Lazy Is As Lazy Does

The last few months, my motivation has been in writing. Which is good - don't get me wrong - but I was avoiding housework and giving up quality time with my daughters (ages 2 and 4). I was spending many hours a day online and in Word, and couldn't easily get myself up from my desk - I was parenting from my stool. Hubby was giving me grief, my girls were cranky, and I had no energy. And I wasn't effective as a mommy. (In my defense, it hasn't always been this way.)

Over the past week or so my outlook has changed. Somehow I've been charged with a new kind of motivation. Something I read, along with a renewed sense of all the blessings I have to be thankful for, has made me realize the priorities my life should have. My family in and of itself has always been first... but I've found it easy to temporarily put their needs aside while I did what I wanted to do. How selfish of me. I see now that my goal should be taking care of them and our household (I am, after all, a stay-at-home mom), above all, and then my chance/time to write will fall into place.

My writing is still important to me; I'm not at all saying that's changed. I just need to go about it differently. I need to work on my projects through certain times of the day, like naptime and in the evenings. Oh, I know I'll periodically check AW, MySpace, and Blogger throughout the day, but I have to resist the urge to sit for hours at a time, doing nothing but waste time.

Now that my perspective is once again focused on what it should be, there is a downside. I've put so much time and effort into home and family that, at day's end, I have no desire to sit and write. My body's tired, my brain is fried. I feel lazy about my writing now. Opening my WIP and trying to add to my word count is the last thing I want to do. I'm still working on all my smaller projects (ie. my column - an actual deadline seems to motivate me plenty), but I feel like the novel has fallen by the wayside. I'm not going to give up. And I refuse to let it sit, without doing more work on it. But at what point will I look forward to that again?

Any tips for finding a happy medium, a balance?