Time and Balance

Some days it seems I can't get anything accomplished. On those days I just can't coordinate the hours to meet my family's demands or do the tasks that endlessly mock me (laundry, anyone?), and forget about time to myself, or sitting down to write anything worthwhile. My whole day will seem stunted and sporadic and out of control. Out of balance. I hate that.

Other days I think, Wow! I've got twenty-four hours! Look at all this time! And I spend it wisely. It unfolds smoothly, with one task leading into the next, and I get so much done. I'm balanced. And at peace, when nothing ruffles my feathers.

Productive days like that lead me to wonder if I'm just lazy on the unproductive days. Is it a mindset? Is it related to mood and hormones? Is it lack of motivation?

Sure, my routine is set, and I try to follow it. But so many factors go into a day and its progress, from things I control (like pushing the snooze button one too many times) to things I don't (a last minute request from a friend or family member, or a problem with a service or product). Some days I can fly by the seat of my pants to take it as it comes [too many clichés there?], other days I feel so dogged and discouraged, like I'm inadequate and incapable.

Do you have days at both ends of the specturm? To what do you attribute them?

How do you work through it? How do you come to terms with the fact that not everyday is perfect, and make the ones that are seemingly perfect count for more?

The Day Will Come

As my oldest hollers off-key, sounding every bit the banshee, and the youngest bounces around in circles, having opted not to settle down for nap today, I decide it's time. Since my warnings to play quietly have gone unheeded and my migraine clenches just a bit tighter, I know I've no other option: I shall run away to some undiscovered peaceful place and leave them in charge. I'm packin' my bags.

Yeah. Right.

But it's moments like these, when I have lots of writing and projects to dive into, housework waiting to be done, and I've the desire to close my eyes for even the shortest of minutes - but I just can't get to any of it, thanks to the kidlets - that I eagerly look forward to the day they'll both be in school. When my mornings and afternoons will be quiet, with no interruptions. I'll be able to come and go as I please, without wails of "Mommy, I need you!" or "Mom! Help!" Oh, that sounds so nice.

Oh, I do know this moment of frustration will pass. Somehow I'll find that balance and all things will get accomplished. And, of course, when it comes down to it, taking care of my girls - even on days like today - is my most important of jobs. Someday I'll look back and wish they were little again. I try to relish this time with them, taking it in as some of their best years. They do grow all too quickly.

But just for the day? Can I escape? Please?