Thirty-Two

Today is my birthday, and I am thirty-two.

The number does not sink in for me, because how is this turning of numbers possible? Three decades and two years, a good husband, two kids (really? my very own?), a house with a dog (and a Madagascar hissing cockroach, which I have not told you about before), the best friends and connections a girl could ask for, a whole amazing childhood plus some adulthood tacked on, gobs of mistakes, and accomplishments. This worth of life just doesn't seem plausible.

But I like getting older. I like what time has done to my face, making it more womanly, I see. And I like that time helps me learn myself, to understand my personality and my purpose and come to accept it all. I feel the bud of that little bit of wisdom that comes with life under your belt.

I also don't like getting older. Not so much because of the wrinkles, the easier aches and the greater intention with things like exercise (those things I just sort of allow to enter the door with me), but because everything and everyone around me gets older, too. It's hard to see things dilapidate; the things and places that have defined me. It is hard, too, to see loved ones, well, dilapidate.

It's my first birthday since my dad died. Today he won't call first chance he gets to say, "Happy Birthday, JD." It is better this way. He is safe and he is comfortable now, and I don't wish his pain back just so he could call me. But I miss him, it's been five and a half months, and the missing grows stronger. It has me so sensitive, especially today.

I didn't plan on its sadness when I sat with this post in mind. Really, I was going to write it hopeful and with pride. It is a day to be happy, a day to celebrate, this I know, because I am blessed and my life is filled with love and meaning. But the sad gets me, too. I try not to let it overwhelm me, but sometimes I've no say in that matter. Such is (my) life, this is one of those things I've learned.

And so now how do I end this big long thing? I have no jokes, no fancy quotes today. A summary of my feelings would be lame. Sometimes I think my laying everything out for you to read just so must be exhausting.

How about I smile at you. That's all.

Thanks for listening. And thanks for being a part of this life of mine.

Thirty-two.

Jody and Janna's Bloggy Buddy Birthday Bonanza!

So I promised something special was happening today...

Not only is it my birthday, it's fellow writer and friend Jody Hedlund's! We couldn't let the excitement of a twofer pass without celebration. And we want you to join us for a virtual birthday party!

You're invited to the comments section of this post, where cakes and decorations and excitement await. Bring your signature party recipes, silly games and special entertainment. Let's have fun!



If you don't know Jody, please visit her blog. She recently signed a three-book deal with Bethany House, which means you can both congratulate her and wish her a happy birthday. You'll enjoy her posts while you're there, too, for she's humble and forthright with her journey to publication.

Happy Birthday, Jody! And Happy Birthday, me! [This just in: It's Jenna's birthday, too! Three writers! Three Js! I never knew November 3rd could be so much fun.]

cake picture courtesy http://whinesisters.com/

Happy Birthday, Sweetpea!

Today is my firstborn's sixth birthday and, to celebrate, here's one of my all-time favorite pictures of her.

For fun, I'd like you guys to provide its caption. As of Sunday evening, I'll pick my favorite (with misterwrites's input), to be announced in Monday's post. The winner will "win" a limerick or ode written (by me, not misterwrites, unless of course you'd like the inclusion of sharks with lasers) in their honor. Let the captioning begin!

PS. "Sweetpea" is not her given name.

Tuesday's Stuff and Things

First, the stuff:

The house comes along! I'm wearing myself out but the walls are getting painted, and everything looks great. Though much still looms before me (power sanding, anyone?), the master bathroom is underway - we have a new shower stall! - and I had TWO rockin' hot showers yesterday! Our wood-burning fireplace is being framed in, and everything should come together for the main floor's carpet installation this Sunday. Please send good thoughts, so all of this gets done without too much distress or strain.

I've been fighting the uckies for days. They have no place, and I have no time, so they best be on their way. Since you're already sending good thoughts for the above, would you mind sending more for this? Thanks.

The weather has been incredible the last few days! Here it is November, and we've had sunny days in the low seventies. Can you believe it? If it weren't for the downed leaves, one would question if we're really smack-dab in fall.

And the things:

Avalon has had my manuscript for one month and three days. Really, that's barely even a dent in the amount of time they could take. How much longer will it be? I wish I could guess. It's not been too bad though, putting it out of my mind, with plenty of other things to concentrate on. Will they like Bliss Lake? I remain faithfully confident but, again, wish I could guess. To use a tired phrase: Only time will tell.

I haven't done any work on my WIP, Life After Death, in close to two weeks. I don't like that, and must make an effort to write something, anything. I'm in that phase where it's easier to think about it than it is to sit down and do it. Know what I mean?

I'm currently beta reading two manuscripts. I'm honored to have been asked, and love getting a first peek at fellow writers' works. And I appreciate that they take my writing seriously enough to think I can help with theirs. Thanks for this opportunity, friends. I promise to do my best.

And thanks again for all the birthday wishes yesterday! It was a great day, and I feel like I welcomed 30 with grace and happiness. Oh, and prunes. Yes. PRUNES. Here's my bouquet from the three friends who took me to lunch. Look closely.

PS. Don't forget to VOTE!

30 Things For Which I'm Thankful

I wasn't sure if I should post this tidbit, but I guess there's no reason not to. So... Today is my 30th birthday! Who wants a cupcake?

*throws confetti*

There are so many things to be thankful for, and I'll list 30 of them here. In no particular order. Except numbered.

*curses mess just made with confetti*

1) life
2) sound mind, sound body (which could technically count as two, but they sound good together)
3) family
4) God's blessings
5) a nice and safe-from-the-elements house
6) food
7) iced mocha
8) sandalwood candles
9) lavender body wash
10) hot showers
11) good books
12) time to myself
13) dear friends
14) PEOPLE magazine
15) music
16) the ability to write and share my words
17) conversations with one who understands me
18) possibilities
19) clearance sales
20) flip flops
21) finished projects
22) Mexican food from El Maguey (Melanie - what does that translate to?)
23) iced mocha (so good, I'm counting it again!)
24) online networking
25) thoughtful friends
26) family reunions
27) my babies
28) eating out and not having to clean up
29) migraine-free days
30) my sister's "old fart" jokes, now that I've reached the big 3-0. But I'll have you know, she's almost thirty-four. And she's older and fartier than I am. (Just don't tell her I said that.)

Happy Day!

Color Me Embarrassed (An Update)

It turns out last night's dinner party was... nothing more than a dinner party. So glad I mentioned my thoughts of it being a surprise birthday get-together to only my husband. And everyone on blogger.

I feel really silly for having read more into comments than was actually there. I let my writer's mind get carried away (we all have grand imaginations, no?), complete with notions of decorations, surprise guests, and yummy dessert in my honor. *sigh* I have to admit, rather sheepishly, I was disappointed. But the dinner party was fun for what it was: a casual gathering of a few friends for food. And in a week's time my birthday will have passed as any other day.

As for today, my flu symptoms are worse. I'm trying to figure out how to get through the day with Hubby MIA and my two daughters running freely, not to mention what I'll do about big family plans for this evening. Wish me luck.